Head bans hugs and handshakes

From the Guardian:

"[H]eadteacher Deborah Hernandez was accused of being out of touch, literally and scholastically, after banning physical contact between her 1,100 pupils.

Hugs, cuddles and handshakes are especially taboo."

Typical example of American puritanism, no doubt you're saying to yourself? But only a liberal who has failed to understand the need for self-discipline and press-ups in our nation's schools could think such a thing.

Personally I think we could learn a lot from this Virginia headteacher.

Because it starts with the high-fives, then it's the hugs - next thing you know they're bonking in the toilets.

Which can lead to breeding.

And the average high school pupil has no business breeding, let me tell you.