Woman jailed for testicle attack

From the beeb:

"A woman who ripped off her ex-boyfriend's testicle with her bare hands has been sent to prison.

Amanda Monti, 24, flew into a rage when Geoffrey Jones, 37, rejected her advances at the end of a house party, Liverpool Crown Court heard.

She pulled off his left testicle and tried to swallow it, before spitting it out. A friend handed it back to Mr Jones saying: "That's yours.""

If you didn't cross your legs after you read that, this'll be because you have no testicles. This bit killed me:

"In a letter to the court, Monti said she was sorry for what she had done.

She said: "It was never my intention to cause harm to Geoff and the fact that I have caused him injury will live with me forever. I am in no way a violent person.""

Not a violent person? You ripped his feckin' gonad off, for goodness sake! That's an act of violence by most people's definition.