"I realise now that I didn't have a hope. I had almost reached the stage when two of the biggest gorillas I have ever seen swept me up and carried me out of the tent. It was humiliating, but it could have been worse."He realises now? For me, his damn mind certificate is warranted for two reasons:
1) He seems to be implying that the only reason that he was thwarted in his righteous quest was the presence of 'two gorrilas'. Does he realise making an arrest may involve the use of force? And a question leading from this - how lacking in self-awareness is it possible to be? In case anyone was unaware, here's what George Monbiot looks like...
There are girls in my six year old's class at school that look more intimidating than George Monbiot. And if I imagine him doing my job, phrases with 'Christians' and 'lions' in them immediately spring to mind.
2) If you're going to pull a stunt like that, while we have already seen the reasons why it's unlikely to succeed, it might be an idea not to reduce your slim chances even further by publicising your intentions on the internet, you stupid mother-fucker. Honestly!