"There's a school of thought according to which, if you have 'issues' with people you know reasonably well, the best policy is to be upfront about it. Just say what's on your mind, talk things through in an open way. My own experience, for what it's worth, is that this can easily bring on disaster. There are people between whom it can work, done with care and mutual consideration - some family, some intimate others. But with those at a greater emotional remove, and even with some friends, directness often burns too hot. Better stick to conventional forms of politeness: to tact, discretion, not saying what you think."I once asked a friend of mine what he thought the role of honesty was in a relationship. He said it didn't have one - you could have one or the other but you couldn't have both. Overstating the point a little - but there's a kernel of truth there. The idea that one should always say what one thinks is true in every situation is for people who imagine they only have duties to themselves and not to other people.
Completely unrelated, here's Chris Dillow expressing his misgivings about abortion. File this under, "Glad it just ain't me".