In a distressing turn of events, the Scottish Tory leader has popped into the gym in the hope that this will boost the campaign.
This is bad for two reasons:
1) The very idea of Annabel Goldie working out leaves a disturbing image lingering in the mind.
2) Do her actions indicate some knowledge on her part that her going to the fucking gym to spread Cameron's distinctively sickly and decaffeinated version of the gospel of Self-Help is actually going to swing a few voters?
Are there really people out there who say to themselves, "I wasn't going to vote Tory but now Annabel has donned her leotard, I've changed my mind."?
Surely if such people exist, they should be killed. Several times.
Fortunately I don't think they do and it's just that Ms Goldie is completely out of her fucking gourd.
It has been noticeable the way this little by-election has brought out the parties true colours:
Scottish Labour? Incompetent, disorganised, fucked-up selection procedures, producing a candidate that looks like she was baptised in bad vinegar. No change there, then.
Tories? Have been attributing poverty to the moral deficiencies of the poor since anyone can remember; clearly the effort of being all nice and tumble-dried has exhausted them and they've reverted to type.
And as for the SNP:
"The SNP candidate in the Glasgow East by-election sparked a fresh row over Scotland's future last night, when he warned the Nationalists might not accept a No vote in a referendum on independence.I have to say, it must be tough coping with the contradictions of being a nationalist: on one hand, you're in mystical communion with the Scottish volk; on the other, there's the small problem of what to do if and when they've failed to appreciate their manifest destiny, despite your best efforts to outline your vision of a nation made more sublime by lots more state-sponsored kitsch.
John Mason, who is a Glasgow councillor, said the SNP could go on asking the people in successive referendums until it got the answer it wanted – a view which puts him at odds with Alex Salmond, the First Minister."
Keep asking the question, is what you do.
In fairness, Alex Salmond only thinks the question needs to be asked every generation. With Mr Mason, the Will to Plebiscite beats more urgently in his breast, inflamed as it is with something one can only describe as passion:
"When you ask someone to marry you, sometimes you have to persist," Mr Mason said during a campaign visit to a community health shop in the Barlanark area of the constituency.Paulie's the only blogger I know who gets this. The rest of you think referendums are a Really Good Idea because they're more Democratic.
This is because you're all mental. Politicians have referendums when they think they're going to win - and even when they lose, they really do have the brassneck to keep asking the same question until they get the answer they want. They've already done this in Ireland already and now pressure's being put on them to do this again.
Anyway, can someone tell me how journalism works? Because I don't get it. When Cllr Mason was coming out with this drivel about referendums being like importuning your love with offers of marriage, was there no one on hand to say, "You analogy doesn't hold because what you're asking for is a divorce, you stupid prick!"? Or there was but this kind of thing is considered impolite? I wouldn't know but it shouldn't be.