Sexual healing

If the name of the column is anything to go by, this is what Pamela Stephenson Connolly claims to be offering to the sexually perturbed and confused. And I think we can all agree that if you find yourself writing into the Guardian to get advice about your sex life, the confusion factor is pretty fucking high. Here's an example:

"My boyfriend is an outgoing type, always the life of the party. Even when we're alone he wants to joke around. I love him, and sex with him is satisfying when we finish what we start. However, when we're making love he is easily distracted. It could be the sound of someone moving around in the next flat, or noise outside, but pretty soon he loses his erection. Is this normal? How can I keep his mind on the job?"

It may be prejudice on my part but her response struck me as being so Californian:

"It is "normal" - for someone whose brain is wired in such a way that paying attention to one thing at a time is challenging. Your boyfriend may have Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD), meaning that he has difficulty filtering out sounds and other stimuli that are competing for his attention.

Don't take it personally.

You should suggest he be evaluated and treated for ADHD, while remembering that he is probably a bright and creative person, who could do with your help in staying on-task."

Dunno about healing but this advice is certainly soothing. If Mr and Mrs Connolly had opted for Glasgow instead of LA, I like to think her advice might go something like this:

"Unless bits of it actually fall on me, the fucking ceiling collapsing wouldn't distract me from 'staying on-task', ok? Given this is, as far as I can gather, the way of all flesh, you really should accept that yer boyfriend just ain't that interested. I suggest you get him tested for Shagging Someone Else Syndrome (SSES).

Do take it personally."