The Sunday Herald piece says he is "said to enjoy a healthy rivalry with his MSP sister Wendy". Well, I don't think it's 'healthy' at all; something fishy is going on. Wendy used to hold the oxymoronically-titled job of Enterprise Minister in the Scottish Parliament and you used to see her on telly quite a lot. But since her brother's star has risen, she's nowhere to be seen.
Add to this circumstantial evidence the fact that no-one has ever seen them in the same room together, the astonishing truth that I can reveal to you now is that 'Douglas' and 'Wendy' are one and the same person.
'Wendy' Alexander - really 'Douglas' after a good kip and a bit of slap put on to cover the wrinkles.
Nothing as crude as our Douglas wearing a skirt and donning a wig - 'Weglous', as he/she was named by the scientists responsible, was the result of a bizarre genetic experiment conducted in Lanarkshire in the late sixties.
It is this that also accounts for 'Douglas's' youthful appearance.
Strange but true.