People losing their damn minds #9

If the reports from Mark Bolland are true, our Chuck has clearly plunged into the deep-end and lost his goddam mind.

I'm a republican in theory but have long suspected that if we Brits ever ditched the monarchy, we'd end up with Richard Branson or some other twat as President and we'd all complain about it, failing to realise that this is because we have been confronted with the fruit of our own stupidity as a country.

But Chuckles has this habit of making you cast your reservations aside. You're the heir to the throne, with nothing to do except to wait to take up the only job by virtue of your birth that you are qualified for.

You'd think that in this excrutiating waiting that makes you jealous of Gordon Brown you might make use of your copious free time to brush up on what is expected of a constitutional monarch - maybe read Bagehot or something. Not Charles apparently. On being told that his public meanderings into the world of organic farming had implications for the government's policy in relation to the EU, Charles was supposed to have said, "So?"

And what about that painfully bad interview he did with Jonathon Dimbleby where he said his divorce from Diana wasn't anyone else's business? Er, you're the heir to the throne and the titular head of the Church of England so I'm afraid it really is other people's business. If you think this is ridiculous, I'd agree - so why don't you abdicate? Better that than losing your damn mind imagining you're a 'political dissident'.

What use are these 'aides to the Royals' anyway? Never mind the Royal Yacht Britannia - how much do these idiots cost the British tax-payer? Why all the fuss about a goddam boat? At least it works, which is more than can be said for all of these 'Royal advisors'. They're not much use if they can't impress the point on our Charles that any attempt to combine the roles of 'political dissident' and heir to the British throne is surely a sign that you've went done gone lost your damn mind.