"Nor can we justify our anti-Englishness by citing historical grievance. We willingly entered a union with them which, economically, has been extremely advantageous to us and England provides the biggest jobs market for us outside Scotland. Our tourist economy is built on the Bank of England pound. We even run their government and many of their biggest institutions. More distressing still is that most English people will support Scotland in every endeavour we undertake."Listen fuckface - I'm an economic historian - I know all this. I've just realised I've been blogging for so long, I had to make this point the last time round: I'm not anti-English. My mother is English. So is my brother-in-law and my nieces. So are just about all of my living relatives, come to that. I feel relatively well disposed towards the English. Goddamnit all, I'm the only living human being I know who actually likes London.
But I still don't want you to win and here's why: the English win something, they don't half go on about it. Take the 1966 World Cup, for example. This was the year I was fucking born, ok? But you're still going on about it. David Baddiel sung, "I remember that tackle by Moore...". No you don't, you fucking prick - you're the same age as me! So if you were to win it again, this would mean that my entire stay on this ball of dirt would be dominated by the English going on about how you won the goddamn World Cup. This would never do. So I hope you lose - to Germans.
P.S. It's only a game. A fairly stupid one at that. I realise this is a minority view amongst the male of the species, particularly in this part of the world, but I think I have a fair amount of evidence on my side...
