1) My cat - because I don't have one.
2) My neighbour's cat. I know they're more intelligent than dogs and all that - but I think house-breaking is beyond the average moggy.
3) Me. You might be thinking I'm the sort of person who would come home drunk and relieve myself on the living-room carpet. Well, maybe after several libations, the old accuracy isn't what it should be - but I'm not that bad.
I know how: my son barfed copiously on the carpet on Saturday but I'm mystified as to why it now, after being cleaned, smells like cat piss.
This is a sort of "notes & queries" plea because I don't think the pong will make me attractive to women at all.