Monday, January 18, 2010

Tories and teaching

When it comes to education, the Tories are Maoists - believing as they do in permanent revolution. The latest wheeze from the people who have spent my entire adult life pouring scorn on anyone working for the public sector in general - and teachers in particular - is to make teaching the 'noble profession'. How are they going to do this? Well, one way is to make sure every teacher has a Desmond:
"So we will end the current system where people with third class degrees can get taxpayers’ money to enter postgraduate teacher training. With our plans, if you want to become a teacher – and get funding for it – you need a 2:2 or higher."
Both Chris Dillow and Tom Freeman are sceptical. They're right to be. Allow me to throw in my own experience. I know I hide it well but I actually have an excellent degree - but I'm not an excellent teacher. One of the reasons for this is I hate people - and teenagers especially. This, rather than poor academic qualifications, is what's holding me back in this gig. That and various substance abuse problems...

The ability to acquire knowledge yourself and the kind needed to help others to do so are not the same. No scheme designed to bring the flip-chart generation into teaching is going to alter this fact. I mean, what are they going to do when they realise that their excruciating management-speak is actually incomprehensible to humans? As if to make my point, Cameron's speech itself is laden with a smattering of 'blue skies' bullshit. For example:
"There is no limit to what a child can achieve with the strong and confident teachers, so there can be no delay to the reforms we have set out."
No, there is. Even with the best teachers, I think pupils are still going to find things like alchemy a little beyond their reach. Cameron then finishes his speech with this kind of vapid cack:
"The best and the brightest talent. Fair reward."
Hits head on keyboard, pours another vodka and prepares for a bright future with no fucking verbs!

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